Episode 3 | Sacred Cow


Bob offers a half-price burger to commemorate the restaurant’s 100,000th burger. Outside the restaurant, a filmmaker named Randy begins recording his new documentary, and ties a cow named “Moolissa” (really a male cow with a blonde wig on it) outside. When Bob notices this, Randy outlines his challenge to him: he can either kill Moolissa and turn her into a burger, or he may let her live; he must make his decision when the “Cow-ntdown” countdown outside the restaurant stops. Louise starts referring to Bob as a killer, drawing even more attention to him. Randy’s decision to place Moolissa outside the business backfires as she begins to attract guests for Bobs Burgers.

Bob has a nightmare later that night in which he is in court, accused of murdering Moolissa, and loses the case. When he wakes up, he notices that it is raining outside and that Randy has left Moolissa stranded in the storm. Bob chooses to let Moolissa into the house since he feels sorry for her. While the kids are enthusiastic with the proposal, especially Gene and Tina, Linda requests that Bob return her to the outside. However, they are unable to get Moolissa down the steps, and she is forced to stay with the Belchers within. Randy sees Bob with the cow inside and informs him that the Cow-ntdown will conclude in two days and that he has two days to make a decision. Linda reveals the next morning that she successfully let Moolissa out of the house (by placing her on a mattress with socks on), only to find her missing.

The Belcher family and the film crew band together to find Moolissa, and they discover that the cow was taken by a couple for their run-down petting zoo, Mother Goose’s Discount Petting Zoo. That night, they return with her, arriving at the restaurant just in time for the timer to expire for Bob to make his decision. Bob, on the other hand, insists on additional time, which causes a squabble between him and Randy. They don’t spot Moolissa wandering across the road into the path of a moving van while they quarrel. The van’s driver manages to slam the brakes just in time to avoid hitting Moolissa, but Moolissa succumbs to a “cow heart attack” shortly after.

Tina is grieved by his death, but she notices that his feces has been formed into a heart. Following her death, Bob passes out and enters his subconscious, where he finds himself in heaven with Moolissa (voiced by Todd Barry). Moolissa tells Bob he wants him to turn him into a burger, and the two share a passionate kiss. The next day, Bob arranges a funeral for Moolissa at the restaurant and names his 100,000th burger the “Rest in Peas Burger,” as the documentary crew shoots it.


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